The Dog in the Ditch

Drawer near to God and God will draw near to you. James 4:8

Someone dumped a dog in our neighborhood. I saw him get dumped; only I didn’t know what was happening. A man walked into a vacant lot at the end of the street with a black lab, my favorite breed. Though I didn’t recognize the man, I figured he was just out on a walk with his dog. Later that week, I spotted the same dog trotting through the neighborhood. I assumed he would find his way back home. As time went on though, the dog continued to roam the streets, but only at night. Because of his nocturnal wanderings, I named him “Shadow.”

Many people in the neighborhood spotted the stray. For the first few weeks Shadow was loose, friends would call our house asking if our dog missing because Shadow looks so much like one of mine. My dog was safe, warm and at home. After one such phone call, I decided that we could help Shadow. We would find him a good home. First I had to catch him. Not an easy task.

It has been months now, more than a year. I have tried everything and still Shadow eludes my grasp. Dog treats, hot dogs, even steak--- no food was enough to entice him. He was always much too quick to catch. Once he dashed into a drainage ditch. Another time I saw him cautiously exit that same ditch, and I realized that he lived there. For weeks I took food and water to his ditch. Sometimes he was there. Sometimes not. Still I never gained his trust. He would not come to me.

After a while, I gave up trying to catch him. If Shadow preferred to be a proud homeless dog, who was I to impose my middle-class sensibilities on him? Still, when a hard freeze gripped our area, Shadow lurked into my thoughts. One night, in between getting my daughter to dance lessons and heading back to work for an evening meeting, I went to his drainage ditch. Bearing an odd assortment of gifts for the homeless dog such as car mats, a blanket, towel, food and water, I screwed up my courage, bent down and crawled deep into the ditch. I laid out the car mat to prevent the blanket from getting wet. I left the food, crept out of the darkness, brushed off my pants and headed back to work. Crazy I know. Pascal once said, “The heart has reasons which reason knows not of.” Heart drove me into that ditch.

The next morning I went to check on Shadow. The food was still there. I feared the dog had frozen to death in the night. Just when I thought Shadow’s time on this earth had come to an end, I looked up. In the distance I saw Shadow trotting toward me with a little dog, a new friend. As soon as he saw me though, Shadow stopped in his tracks. Before bolting in the opposite direction, Shadow stared at me, as if to say, “Would you please stop intruding on my life?” I watched Shadow, and his buddy race off in the distance.

I still see Shadow from time to time. He seems to hang out at a house just outside our neighborhood that has three large dogs in a fenced yard. When I was out walking one day, I happened to see the owner of Shadow’s hangout, and I ask the man if he had given Shadow a home and he said, “No he just took it. He likes to hang out here for some reason. I have enough dogs already. Full up here.”

For now, Shadow seems to spend his life between the ditch and the home where he is not wanted. Funny how a dog taught me about the power of choice, and the power of fear. Clearly Shadow is afraid to trust me. Fear imprisons him to a damp drainage ditch or the yard of someone who doesn’t want him. He could have a real home. But if someone (or animal in this case) doesn’t want to be saved, we can’t save them. I haven’t given up on Shadow. He could still find his way to a real home. Sometimes we have to wander and roam for a long time before we can find our true home. But for now, Shadow roams.

Shadow made me ponder the ways fear can hold us in dark, dank corners. How is our lack of trust in God keeping us from enjoying the fullness of life? Do we run from love? Do we stare blankly when God extends a hand of grace through a loved one or even a stranger? Do we run from forgiveness or forgiving. Do we run life itself?

God will not give up on us. The heart has reasons which reason know not of. If God needs to crawl through a dank, dark ditch to find us, to save us and give us a home, God will. God continues to offer the bread of life and living water to nourish our souls. When we have been hurt or abandoned by love it is hard to trust and follow God to a new home. With faith,we can find the willingness to walk toward God instead of running the other direction.

A lot of folks flee from God like a scared dog racing into a ditch. Where do such people run? Where are the drainage pipes where we like to hide? Perfectionism, procrastination, drinking, sex addiction, shopping, workaholism are just a few of the dead-end ditches where we like to crawl. What fear drives us there? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of looking foolish? Being hurt?

The choice is truly ours. We can trust in love instead of fear. We can wander our way into the arms of divine love. With faith, we can find our way home. We haven’t been dumped in this world by an uncaring owner. We have been placed here by a loving God who wants us to be fully loved and fully alive. May faith draw us near to God so that God can draw near to us each day and we can find our way to our true home.