Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
I came to love the game of basketball late in life. That is if you consider 45 years of age such a thing. My husband and I had just moved our family to San Antonio, and we were living in a tiny apartment while our home was being built. Because the apartment was the size of a postage stamp, I could either watch the game with him in the family room/dining room, or go to bed. Usually I chose to go to bed. Once when I couldn't sleep, I watched the end of a game. The Spurs lost, but they behaved like champions.
In the post-game interviews, when asked why they lost the game, the players did not blame the referees--- although according to my husband they would have been justified in doing so. They did not blame their teammates. They focused on themselves and admitted they didn't play their best, and the other team deserved to win. I fell in love with the Spurs right then and there. Despite a bitter game, they took responsibility for their failure. Though certainly troubled by the loss, they were not in fact defeated by it. The next game they dusted off their sneakers, picked themselves up and left their failure where it belonged, in the past. They stayed in the moment, played the game and they won. At least that series.
Since then, I have watched the Spurs play hundreds of games. I have watched them play so extraordinarily well that I had to replay an awesome shot on the DVR over and over again. I have sprung to my feet and stood inches away from the TV, as if standing three inches from the screen could enable me to mentally will a free throw into the net instead of out of it. I have also known the anguish of watching them play horribly. I have sat on the couch with my eyes shut tight, unable to watch a turnover or three point miss. Through it all, watching close up or listening with my hands over my eyes, at the end of the game, I will still love the Spurs. Win or lose they behave like champions.
This year, when the Spurs played game five against the Memphis Grizzlies in the semi-finals. With less than half a minute to go, Manu Ginobili and Gary Neal threw up miracle shots that swished through the net and tied the game forcing overtime. The Spurs outscored the Grizzlies in overtime and won the game.
When Manu and Neal were interviewed after the game, they did not take all the glory and they cast no blame on their teammates for almost losing the game. Manu said the team had made mistakes and then quickly added that he also had made mistakes in the game that cost the team points. There was no bad-mouthing his teammates, his opponents, or the referees. He simply acknowledged his mistakes, and celebrated the team effort. He didn't mention that he put up 33 points during the game. Likewise Neal humbly celebrated the basket that resuscitated the Spurs for at least one more game. He spoke of the team effort more than individual success.
A reporter asked Manu if having the heart of a champion enabled the Spurs to win game four, and he replied, "No we just got lucky."
It may have been luck that won Game five, but it is the heart of the Spurs that makes the team true champions. It was their heart that stole mine and turned me into a true fan. Sadly, the Spurs lost game six. Either way the ball bounces though---in or out of the rim---the Spurs will have my heart, because they have heart. The way they win and the way they lose have taught me some amazing life lessons.
1. We play as a team. We lose as a team. We are not created to play alone. We need each other to do our best.
2. Choose your teammates wisely. The people we spend the most time with each day have a major impact on our vision of life.
3. Blaming doesn't make you a winner. Accepting responsibility, or letting go when genuinely wronged, does.
4. We are not our mistakes. Once we evaluate how our actions contributed to a failure, we can let it go and play the game well.
5. Don't hog the ball (or the glory). Team work multiplies the joy of success and reduces the pain of loss.
6. Don't coast on the last victory. Stay in the moment and play as if you will not get another chance. Don't rest on your laurels thinking that the way you have always won in the past, will always work in the future. Welcome new people and new ideas for a winning strategy.
7. Even when you are down and there seems no way you could possibly win, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up until the final buzzer sounds.
8. Don't let emotions get the best of you. When frustrated, find your center and breathe. Keep dribbling, keep moving, and keep shooting for your dreams.
9. It takes different strengths and talents to make a winning team. At times in our lives we need a strong presence in the paint who can move through tough obstacles and create an otherwise impossible shot. Other situations call for someone to stand beyond the arc and show us how to shoot for our goals from a distance. Still other times we just need someone to set a screen so that we can take our shot. One type of play is not better than another. It is just different, and celebrating our differences strengthens the team.
10. Don't waste time on the bench. Use it to focus and engage in the game. Much of life is spent waiting for an opportunity play. Don't waste that time or resent it. Use it to plan, to learn from others and to strategize. When you are called off the bench, be ready to enter the game with gratitude, energy and enthusiasm.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Dog in the Ditch
Drawer near to God and God will draw near to you. James 4:8
Someone dumped a dog in our neighborhood. I saw him get dumped; only I didn’t know what was happening. A man walked into a vacant lot at the end of the street with a black lab, my favorite breed. Though I didn’t recognize the man, I figured he was just out on a walk with his dog. Later that week, I spotted the same dog trotting through the neighborhood. I assumed he would find his way back home. As time went on though, the dog continued to roam the streets, but only at night. Because of his nocturnal wanderings, I named him “Shadow.”
Many people in the neighborhood spotted the stray. For the first few weeks Shadow was loose, friends would call our house asking if our dog missing because Shadow looks so much like one of mine. My dog was safe, warm and at home. After one such phone call, I decided that we could help Shadow. We would find him a good home. First I had to catch him. Not an easy task.
It has been months now, more than a year. I have tried everything and still Shadow eludes my grasp. Dog treats, hot dogs, even steak--- no food was enough to entice him. He was always much too quick to catch. Once he dashed into a drainage ditch. Another time I saw him cautiously exit that same ditch, and I realized that he lived there. For weeks I took food and water to his ditch. Sometimes he was there. Sometimes not. Still I never gained his trust. He would not come to me.
After a while, I gave up trying to catch him. If Shadow preferred to be a proud homeless dog, who was I to impose my middle-class sensibilities on him? Still, when a hard freeze gripped our area, Shadow lurked into my thoughts. One night, in between getting my daughter to dance lessons and heading back to work for an evening meeting, I went to his drainage ditch. Bearing an odd assortment of gifts for the homeless dog such as car mats, a blanket, towel, food and water, I screwed up my courage, bent down and crawled deep into the ditch. I laid out the car mat to prevent the blanket from getting wet. I left the food, crept out of the darkness, brushed off my pants and headed back to work. Crazy I know. Pascal once said, “The heart has reasons which reason knows not of.” Heart drove me into that ditch.
The next morning I went to check on Shadow. The food was still there. I feared the dog had frozen to death in the night. Just when I thought Shadow’s time on this earth had come to an end, I looked up. In the distance I saw Shadow trotting toward me with a little dog, a new friend. As soon as he saw me though, Shadow stopped in his tracks. Before bolting in the opposite direction, Shadow stared at me, as if to say, “Would you please stop intruding on my life?” I watched Shadow, and his buddy race off in the distance.
I still see Shadow from time to time. He seems to hang out at a house just outside our neighborhood that has three large dogs in a fenced yard. When I was out walking one day, I happened to see the owner of Shadow’s hangout, and I ask the man if he had given Shadow a home and he said, “No he just took it. He likes to hang out here for some reason. I have enough dogs already. Full up here.”
For now, Shadow seems to spend his life between the ditch and the home where he is not wanted. Funny how a dog taught me about the power of choice, and the power of fear. Clearly Shadow is afraid to trust me. Fear imprisons him to a damp drainage ditch or the yard of someone who doesn’t want him. He could have a real home. But if someone (or animal in this case) doesn’t want to be saved, we can’t save them. I haven’t given up on Shadow. He could still find his way to a real home. Sometimes we have to wander and roam for a long time before we can find our true home. But for now, Shadow roams.
Shadow made me ponder the ways fear can hold us in dark, dank corners. How is our lack of trust in God keeping us from enjoying the fullness of life? Do we run from love? Do we stare blankly when God extends a hand of grace through a loved one or even a stranger? Do we run from forgiveness or forgiving. Do we run life itself?
God will not give up on us. The heart has reasons which reason know not of. If God needs to crawl through a dank, dark ditch to find us, to save us and give us a home, God will. God continues to offer the bread of life and living water to nourish our souls. When we have been hurt or abandoned by love it is hard to trust and follow God to a new home. With faith,we can find the willingness to walk toward God instead of running the other direction.
A lot of folks flee from God like a scared dog racing into a ditch. Where do such people run? Where are the drainage pipes where we like to hide? Perfectionism, procrastination, drinking, sex addiction, shopping, workaholism are just a few of the dead-end ditches where we like to crawl. What fear drives us there? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of looking foolish? Being hurt?
The choice is truly ours. We can trust in love instead of fear. We can wander our way into the arms of divine love. With faith, we can find our way home. We haven’t been dumped in this world by an uncaring owner. We have been placed here by a loving God who wants us to be fully loved and fully alive. May faith draw us near to God so that God can draw near to us each day and we can find our way to our true home.
Someone dumped a dog in our neighborhood. I saw him get dumped; only I didn’t know what was happening. A man walked into a vacant lot at the end of the street with a black lab, my favorite breed. Though I didn’t recognize the man, I figured he was just out on a walk with his dog. Later that week, I spotted the same dog trotting through the neighborhood. I assumed he would find his way back home. As time went on though, the dog continued to roam the streets, but only at night. Because of his nocturnal wanderings, I named him “Shadow.”
Many people in the neighborhood spotted the stray. For the first few weeks Shadow was loose, friends would call our house asking if our dog missing because Shadow looks so much like one of mine. My dog was safe, warm and at home. After one such phone call, I decided that we could help Shadow. We would find him a good home. First I had to catch him. Not an easy task.
It has been months now, more than a year. I have tried everything and still Shadow eludes my grasp. Dog treats, hot dogs, even steak--- no food was enough to entice him. He was always much too quick to catch. Once he dashed into a drainage ditch. Another time I saw him cautiously exit that same ditch, and I realized that he lived there. For weeks I took food and water to his ditch. Sometimes he was there. Sometimes not. Still I never gained his trust. He would not come to me.
After a while, I gave up trying to catch him. If Shadow preferred to be a proud homeless dog, who was I to impose my middle-class sensibilities on him? Still, when a hard freeze gripped our area, Shadow lurked into my thoughts. One night, in between getting my daughter to dance lessons and heading back to work for an evening meeting, I went to his drainage ditch. Bearing an odd assortment of gifts for the homeless dog such as car mats, a blanket, towel, food and water, I screwed up my courage, bent down and crawled deep into the ditch. I laid out the car mat to prevent the blanket from getting wet. I left the food, crept out of the darkness, brushed off my pants and headed back to work. Crazy I know. Pascal once said, “The heart has reasons which reason knows not of.” Heart drove me into that ditch.
The next morning I went to check on Shadow. The food was still there. I feared the dog had frozen to death in the night. Just when I thought Shadow’s time on this earth had come to an end, I looked up. In the distance I saw Shadow trotting toward me with a little dog, a new friend. As soon as he saw me though, Shadow stopped in his tracks. Before bolting in the opposite direction, Shadow stared at me, as if to say, “Would you please stop intruding on my life?” I watched Shadow, and his buddy race off in the distance.
I still see Shadow from time to time. He seems to hang out at a house just outside our neighborhood that has three large dogs in a fenced yard. When I was out walking one day, I happened to see the owner of Shadow’s hangout, and I ask the man if he had given Shadow a home and he said, “No he just took it. He likes to hang out here for some reason. I have enough dogs already. Full up here.”
For now, Shadow seems to spend his life between the ditch and the home where he is not wanted. Funny how a dog taught me about the power of choice, and the power of fear. Clearly Shadow is afraid to trust me. Fear imprisons him to a damp drainage ditch or the yard of someone who doesn’t want him. He could have a real home. But if someone (or animal in this case) doesn’t want to be saved, we can’t save them. I haven’t given up on Shadow. He could still find his way to a real home. Sometimes we have to wander and roam for a long time before we can find our true home. But for now, Shadow roams.
Shadow made me ponder the ways fear can hold us in dark, dank corners. How is our lack of trust in God keeping us from enjoying the fullness of life? Do we run from love? Do we stare blankly when God extends a hand of grace through a loved one or even a stranger? Do we run from forgiveness or forgiving. Do we run life itself?
God will not give up on us. The heart has reasons which reason know not of. If God needs to crawl through a dank, dark ditch to find us, to save us and give us a home, God will. God continues to offer the bread of life and living water to nourish our souls. When we have been hurt or abandoned by love it is hard to trust and follow God to a new home. With faith,we can find the willingness to walk toward God instead of running the other direction.
A lot of folks flee from God like a scared dog racing into a ditch. Where do such people run? Where are the drainage pipes where we like to hide? Perfectionism, procrastination, drinking, sex addiction, shopping, workaholism are just a few of the dead-end ditches where we like to crawl. What fear drives us there? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of looking foolish? Being hurt?
The choice is truly ours. We can trust in love instead of fear. We can wander our way into the arms of divine love. With faith, we can find our way home. We haven’t been dumped in this world by an uncaring owner. We have been placed here by a loving God who wants us to be fully loved and fully alive. May faith draw us near to God so that God can draw near to us each day and we can find our way to our true home.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Closet Clutter
So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has bassed away; see everything has become new!
2 Corinthians 5:17
The other night I happened upon a new television show with Peter Walsh called "Enough Already." Walsh is a personal organizer, and his show helps families whose lives have been overtaken by clutter. The family on the episode I saw couldn't even walk through, much less sit, in the family room. Every surface was stuffed with books, clothes, old newspapers, and heaven knows what else. Walsh explained that there are two types of clutter that cause such chaos in a home, emotional clutter and future clutter. Emotional clutter is created when we cannot give up something because it holds a special memory from our past. Future clutter is created because we are worried that we might need an item in the future so we cannot let it go. It doesn't matter if we haven't worn that dress in five years and it doesn't fit, it might fit next year. The problem is that when we hold onto emotional and future clutter, we cannot enjoy what we have today. Our lives become full of the wrong things.
It occurred to me as I watched the show that our lives are often robbed by clutter. In addition to material things that stack up in our homes, we have mental clutter that often needs to be thrown out so that we can live well today. While our memories are precious and life-giving, they can also be debilitating if we don't make room for new life experiences. Think of the high school football star or cheerleader who never moves past the glory days of their youth to embrace the joys of adulthood. Some of us have future emotional clutter because we are so worried about not having something we need in days ahead. We worry that we will not have enough money, enough time or enough wisdom and courage to face future challenges. Mental clutter does exactly what material clutter does. It robs us of today's joy. It keeps us from fully celebrating what we do have.
I was so inspired after watching the show that I decided to clean out my bedroom closet. While the most areas of our home are quite livable, my closet is not. It was past time to make a trip to the Goodwill. So with Peter Walsh's words leading the way, I braved the mess of my closet and ruthlessly discarded any item of clothing that I do not love or have not worn in a year. Just two hours later, I emerged from that closet with two huge garbage bags practically exploding with shoes, purses and clothes. It was liberating and exhilarating. When it was all said and done, I stood in the closet and smiled. I also had to wonder why I had not done it sooner. I told myself for months (ok years) that I was too busy. But then it really didn't take all that long. Initially the task was daunting, but piece by piece it grew more manageable.
Perhaps this is how we can rid our heads of mental clutter. When an old unpleasant memory pops up or a longing for a past that can never return to, we can put the thoughts in their proper place or throw it out. When fear of the future paralyzes us and keeps us from pursuing a dream, we can toss that fear into the garbage of unwanted thoughts. Piece by piece, little by little, as we clear the mental clutter out of today, we gain a clearer vision of life's true joy.
True, I made tremendous progress on my closet in a very short period of time, but now I have to maintain it. Clutter accumulates quickly if you don't stay on top of it. So it is with our emotions. If we don't sort through our fear and resentment as it pops up, our hearts turn into a jumbled mess. Prayer, meditation, and wise counsel help discard emotional garbage.
At the end of my cleaning frenzy, there were just two dresses, both of them black, I just could not discard. One I wore on my honeymoon and the other I wore to my mother's funeral two weeks before our wedding. I tried to put them in the garbage bag. Clearly they are prime examples of emotional clutter. Still, I could not let them go. For those two dresses represented one of the happiest and one of the saddest moments of my life. Moments that happened to come in rapid succession of each other. Perhaps in 20 years when I am 70 and the dresses have been in my closet 40 years, I will be ready, but I am not yet. Sometimes we have to give ourselves time to let go clutter. Progress not perfection, so the saying goes.
May God inspire us to discard the trash that robs us of divine joy and peace today. Let us toss out the garbage and bring in Christ's peace so that we can celebrate life.
2 Corinthians 5:17
The other night I happened upon a new television show with Peter Walsh called "Enough Already." Walsh is a personal organizer, and his show helps families whose lives have been overtaken by clutter. The family on the episode I saw couldn't even walk through, much less sit, in the family room. Every surface was stuffed with books, clothes, old newspapers, and heaven knows what else. Walsh explained that there are two types of clutter that cause such chaos in a home, emotional clutter and future clutter. Emotional clutter is created when we cannot give up something because it holds a special memory from our past. Future clutter is created because we are worried that we might need an item in the future so we cannot let it go. It doesn't matter if we haven't worn that dress in five years and it doesn't fit, it might fit next year. The problem is that when we hold onto emotional and future clutter, we cannot enjoy what we have today. Our lives become full of the wrong things.
It occurred to me as I watched the show that our lives are often robbed by clutter. In addition to material things that stack up in our homes, we have mental clutter that often needs to be thrown out so that we can live well today. While our memories are precious and life-giving, they can also be debilitating if we don't make room for new life experiences. Think of the high school football star or cheerleader who never moves past the glory days of their youth to embrace the joys of adulthood. Some of us have future emotional clutter because we are so worried about not having something we need in days ahead. We worry that we will not have enough money, enough time or enough wisdom and courage to face future challenges. Mental clutter does exactly what material clutter does. It robs us of today's joy. It keeps us from fully celebrating what we do have.
I was so inspired after watching the show that I decided to clean out my bedroom closet. While the most areas of our home are quite livable, my closet is not. It was past time to make a trip to the Goodwill. So with Peter Walsh's words leading the way, I braved the mess of my closet and ruthlessly discarded any item of clothing that I do not love or have not worn in a year. Just two hours later, I emerged from that closet with two huge garbage bags practically exploding with shoes, purses and clothes. It was liberating and exhilarating. When it was all said and done, I stood in the closet and smiled. I also had to wonder why I had not done it sooner. I told myself for months (ok years) that I was too busy. But then it really didn't take all that long. Initially the task was daunting, but piece by piece it grew more manageable.
Perhaps this is how we can rid our heads of mental clutter. When an old unpleasant memory pops up or a longing for a past that can never return to, we can put the thoughts in their proper place or throw it out. When fear of the future paralyzes us and keeps us from pursuing a dream, we can toss that fear into the garbage of unwanted thoughts. Piece by piece, little by little, as we clear the mental clutter out of today, we gain a clearer vision of life's true joy.
True, I made tremendous progress on my closet in a very short period of time, but now I have to maintain it. Clutter accumulates quickly if you don't stay on top of it. So it is with our emotions. If we don't sort through our fear and resentment as it pops up, our hearts turn into a jumbled mess. Prayer, meditation, and wise counsel help discard emotional garbage.
At the end of my cleaning frenzy, there were just two dresses, both of them black, I just could not discard. One I wore on my honeymoon and the other I wore to my mother's funeral two weeks before our wedding. I tried to put them in the garbage bag. Clearly they are prime examples of emotional clutter. Still, I could not let them go. For those two dresses represented one of the happiest and one of the saddest moments of my life. Moments that happened to come in rapid succession of each other. Perhaps in 20 years when I am 70 and the dresses have been in my closet 40 years, I will be ready, but I am not yet. Sometimes we have to give ourselves time to let go clutter. Progress not perfection, so the saying goes.
May God inspire us to discard the trash that robs us of divine joy and peace today. Let us toss out the garbage and bring in Christ's peace so that we can celebrate life.
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